Now that vacation is over with, the day we've been dreading for the past few months is approaching, FAST.
I don't know what my deal is. I'm not experiencing the emotions I usually go through at this time before he leaves. Don't get me wrong I'm upset, but I'm not dwelling on it, letting people see it. I don't know if after all these deployments, im finally "used to it" or what.
But I have come to some conclusion for it, I'm just ready for him to leave. I know there's a few of you with your heads shaking, jaw dropped and I know there are the few of you that know exactly what I mean.
Think of it this way, the sooner he leaves, the sooner he'll be home and the countdown can begin. I know for a fact now that Jimmy after 5 deployments will be non-deployable, so I am READY for him to get his ass over there, kick some ass and come home where he will stay for the next 2-3 years with a job he deserves and earned!!
I'm making it a fact to go into this deployment with my head held high and have a positive attitude! I don't want to start a pity train(on FB,&real life) I see a lot of wives doing it on FB and it honestly is annoying, so for all of you I have ever annoyed with ridiculous posts about deployment and Jimmy being gone, I am sorry!! I'm not going to dwell on him being gone and deployed like I've done in the past because it does nothing!!
I can't promise I will be okay the day he leaves, every deployment i've experienced different emotions, the worst being our first deployment where I cried so hard I couldn't breath, each deployment day got a little easier but I still cried. Last January's deployment for instance, I shed only 2 tears!! I think the biggest factor was I knew he was going to be ok! He was only going on a ship and floating! Yes there are dangers, and they did go to some places that were potential war zones, but I knew he'd be ok! Now that this deployment he's going back "over there" I can't promise anything!!
& watching the kids saying "see you soon" to Jimmy, always pulls at my heart strings! So depending on how they take it this year will also play a huge factor!!
I have complete faith that this deployment will fly right by!! Spring into fall deployments always fly by for us, where when he's gone during the winter months, it feels like years compared to months!!
We have a lot planned after Jimmy leaves, which will help time fly by!!
The girls and I will be going up north for Easter, which we'll be having Audrianna's 5th birthday party while were there! Then May, we'll be taking another trip up there for my Grandparents 50th wedding anniversary!!
I'm really excited for June, Audrianna gets out of school mid-June, a week after she gets out, were taking our yearly trip to DISNEY WORLD!!! I know i'm crazy for going without Jimmy but my brother is going, my cousin and her family and a friend of mine from NY with her kids so we will have a great time!! Then of course this summer, I will be spending most of my time up in NY/PA!!
I have complete FAITH this will fly by!!
Our live's don't stop while he's gone, we live our lives and wait for that moment where we can continue on with us!
Jimmy and I have also have taken on a new "project" as were calling it! Its staying "top secret" between us, except the select few who knows whats going on, but were very excited about it! It's going to take a few months but were very excited about this!!
Lot's of prayers for Jimmy, his platoon and his unit!
Will update again soon!
1st and foremost...you, the girls, jimmy and our troops are ALWAYS in my prayers...2nd..meg- your posts shouldnt annoy anyone! you have the right to feel everything you do..but with that said..i can imagine how excited you must be for a non-deployable job! thats the best news!!! you face each situation with such grace..beauty and bravery...i have learned so much about the families of our troops through all of your posts & blogs.. its been a great learning experience for me..because i can honestly say, sadly before your posts and seeing how deployments affect you, and the girls i never really put much thought into the families affected. its a horrible thing to admit...but i am glad that my eyes have been opened. you are a hero...dont ever EVER forget that. thank you for your posts...and always displaying your honest feelings.. you have opened my eyes to a lot..and now each time i think of our troops--i think of their families as well.
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